December 2009
64 posts
okay, well, today is the day.
last day of 2009? shit. this year has been one of the most stressful, lifechanging, yet best years of my life, i don’t want to see it end ):
anywaaaays, so i’m not sure exactly what’s going on for tonight, but i know someone is gunna end up having a party & i definitely hope me & dan are there together. i told him last night i had a sneaky feeling that me & him are...
ohhhh fuck.
k so i woke up this morning with dan being like “boy do i have a story to tell you.”
suuuure enough, tim was at wayne’s drinking, and so was dan, and what did they both decide to do when they were shitfaced? TALK. ABOUT. ME. wtf guys?!
apperently tim was talking about how much he loved me but also about how i’m still confused about choosing between him & dan and how...
have you ever seen a man cry?
cause i have. it’s weird to see now that everytime me & dan hang out, something always ends up happening aaaaand then things start to get emotional.
he told me he will come back for me; god i only hope he actually means it.
“Bisexual women are ‘celebrated’ by men on Facebook and in real life, while many...”
– The “Myth” of Female Bisexuality (via sapphoria) (via volatilestructure) (via ladyylazarus) (via fuckyeahbisexuals) (via fuckyeahlgbt)
i don't love him, i swear i don't love him.
wtf am i talking about? who am i trying to fool? i’m so pathetic sometimes.
i love him.
i love him.
i love him.
honestly, who else am i gunna find who does the most ridiculous shit for me & with me? who else am i gunna find who can talk to me nonstop about absolutely anything? who i can tell everything to? that boy knows more about me than i do.
absolutely no one.
“what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you, what am i...”
– the script
foster care, foster care, foster care.
i’m bawling my eyes out.
my boyfriend is now my ex boyfriend & it’s sad that i still break down for him
my dad doesn’t want me or even doesn’t want to take care of me - like seriously, not getting me a christmas present? fucking pathetic.
my mom is so fed up, that she’s going to court tomorrow, putting another CHINS on me (even though i have less than 3...
it's over.
or at least in the process of being over. i feel exactly like i did coming home from SC last month - miserable. like seriously, as much as i know that this is an appropriate decision since he’ll be gone soon, it doesn’t stop me from crying my eyes out.
i’m not sure if this is necessarily the right decision because of how right we were for each other, but i guess all i can do now...
“tonight will change our lives, it’s so good to be by your side but...”
– boys like girls
Thinking Of You - Katy Perry
see the story...
omg, this was amazing.
Jackie: hey, get over here & pick up your shit, i'm not doing it...i'm not your wife!
Tim: ...yet.
Jackie: what did you just say?
Tim: you heard me.
Jackie: are you serious?
Tim: you never know, it could happen.
well now, this just got so much more interesting.
so yeah, yesterday me & tim went out to eat at wendy’s aha & it was sooooo weird cause he asked me to go to church with me; TIM ASKED TO GO TO CHURCH, holyyyy shit. so yeah we had some time to kill so we took a cab to his house. here’s where it gets suuuuper interesing:
he said “i want you back” ; i asked in what way ; he said “i want you as my...
FUCK.
asdfghjkl. sooooo i spent the night with dan last night aaaand at some point it didn’t go well. we went to the mall, he bought me a ring, we went home, had sex (of course) & then like, when we went to go check our phones, cj wanted to know if we wanted to go to tim’s for a party. welllll it was a little late by then so like when we got there, everyone had to leave, so we ended up...
When I’m starting to drown You jump in to...
best half-day with the boyfriend
1:30pm - 2:30pm: i skipped half my 6th period class & all of 7th period class; went to mambo’s; i made dan eat half my quesadillas (and pay of course); it was really cold out, but it was so nice to see dan.
3pm - 5pm: went to my dad’s house to see sookie; spent the rest of the time talking aaaand having sex :x ; took a bus to the kennedy center; i was fucking freezing; caught...
bahah, i don't care how dirty this is, it's funny.
Dan: i swear this shower is timed to give cold water
Jackie: orrrr maybe it just hates you?
Dan: not the only thing that i turn on and it gets wet that hates me? oh wow, lol.
i'm done.
seriously, i don’t fucking care anymore. i alwaaaaays seem to get myself stuck in complicated situations & a good amount of the time, they don’t end like i want them to.
but i’m used to it.
he’ll never read this, but there is so much he doesn’t know, & he thinks i don’t care about him sometimes? HA. most of the time i’d do anything to be with...
soooo i was talking to chelsea last night,
and what she said really got to me, especially the “when i say dan you don’t light up as much as when i say tim” part. wanna know why? cause it’s true.
i loved that boy with everything i had & put up with so many things & it’s weird now cause stillll all the signs point to tim. he’s gone for a less amount of time than dan. he’s a christian....
“but you’re neither friend nor foe, though i can’t seem to let you...”
– sara bareilles
oh by the way,
i got $150 from my nurses today, NICE.
i kind of believe this, KIND OF.
Jackie: yeah well, meanwhile, you're just gunna be whoring yourself out.
Tim: what are you talking about?
Jackie: well let's see, you got raven who obviously wants your shit, rita, delma, probably ashley...the list can keep going.
Tim: yeah cause you know i'm walking THEM in the cold, i'm talking to them 24/7, i call them every single night, yeah, cause THEY are the girls i like, riiiiiiggghhhttt.
wtf jackie, seriously, wtf?
i kissed him, yup, i did. fucking hate you sometimes tim. okay sooooo here’s what happened.
tim shows up in the cafeteria & nearly tackles me for 5 minutes just giving me hugs.
he then proceeds to kiss me >.<
delma & raven nearly tackle him.
bitches are alllll up on his nuts while i kinda just chill out with vanessa’s ex.
tim starts to leave with me, bitches get all...
my braces are off!
hellllllz yeah. this week just needs to go by faster. it’s been such a bipolar few days it’s not even funny BUT i’m glad me & the boyfriend are getting along (especially since he said he’s going to take me to boston for a day when he gets home), me & demi are getting along again, thankgod, cause it’s so depressing without her, & all i have to do now is go...
asdfghjkl.
i feel like SHIT for hurting her, like all day i’ve wanted to text her but couldn’t bring myself to do it just because i don’t want to lead her on or something, i don’t want to hurt her, & i’m trying so hard to get rid of these feelings that are hurting the both of us.
you know what’s fucking weird?
i was just on her livejournal & then i had said...
“i’m the girl with the worst attention span, you’re the boy who puts...”
– orianthi
this is so fucked up.
but i guess that’s just life? today has been so friggen bipolar.
happy: i got off DSS this morning so no more fucktard DSS social workers & all that happy business.
sad: i had to wait 4 hours just for them to tell me my case is dismissed.
happy: i got to miss a ton of school.
sad: my fucking anatomy teacher wouldn’t let me make up my quiz which i could have easily gotten a...
Do You Remember? - Jay Sean ft. Sean Paul &...
my life is average →
alllll i do is read this stuff in school when im bored (:
the worst thing in life
is getting your hopes up and having them crushed right back down. honestly, that’s the story of my life, and no matter how many times it happens, it never fails to completely crush me.
i hate hate hate this feeling.
more than you know.
i blew her a kiss goodnight.
and i wanted nothing more than to just be in that bed with her. i trust her. i long for her. jfdksdhskh.
whoever the other girl is, she can suck it, cause no other person in the world could ever want to make her as happy as i do right now.
no one.
“she wears red when she’s feeling hot, i have her but that’s all...”
– the maine
why does all the interesting stuff in my life...
LIKE LAST NIGHT. hooolllllyyyyy shit last night was an interesting one. my boyfriend was talking about how i’m gunna die on him & my ex called to say he loves me BUT that’s not the most interesting shit.
DEMI. yeah, you know it’s gunna be good now.
i don’t even think i can come up with words on how to describe her right now. i love talking to her everynight, i really...
